A Story from Rockland County
Riverspace partnered with Real Life. Real Talk. and held the finals for the Real Words contest featuring four plays written by teenagers. This event covered all our wishes for working with other nonprofits—diversity, community, and pairing arts professionals with young people. The winning play "My American Life," was written by teens in their Tappan Zee ESL class. Playwright Jessica Downer said she “was given an extraordinary experience to hear her words read out loud.” All have expressed interest in continuing to write. While we (Riverspace) already have a remarkable story to tell, this was another great chapter.
Letter to the Editor submitted to Portland Press Herald on April 14, 2008.
This month, the Centers for Disease Control released results from its national survey showing that one in four teenage girls in this country has a sexually transmitted disease — a rate that rises to 40 percent among sexually active teens. The data have the entire community buzzing. Many search for somewhere to place the blame.
There is plenty of blame to go around — from the hypersexualized youth culture our kids must navigate, to federally funded programs that have failed to provide young people with the knowledge necessary to protect themselves; from parents who are unsure or unwilling to engage in honest conversations with their kids, to schools that have failed to recognize the importance of sexual health in standard curriculum.
The truth is, we all want what is best for the young people in our communities. And most of the time, we're all doing the best we can to traverse this unsteady and often-shifting territory with precious little light.
Portland has been one of just a handful of communities in the nation to provide a steady beacon of light.
I'm proud that the Children's Advocacy Council has joined 26 other community organizations in the Real Life. Real Talk. Coalition at www.RealLifeRealTalk.org, offering parents free resources to gain the skills and confidence necessary to educate their kids about health, values and relationships.
Sadly, teens in this country are having sex when they don't have the most basic facts.
Congratulations to our community for supporting parents and for refusing to withhold valuable information and resources from our teens.
- Andrea R. Paul, Director, Children's Advocacy Council, South Portland
Clara's Story
Since becoming a Real Life. Real Talk. Partner organization last year, Prevention. Action. Change. has sought to incorporate the themes of parent/teen communication around sex and sexuality into our work in violence prevention. A natural fit was our half-day intensive self defense workshop for Mothers and Daughters. The workshop seeks to increase understanding and acceptance between mothers and daughters while they explore safety in relationships, at home, out and about, in social settings, and on-line and learn a range of verbal and physical self defense skills.
After consulting with Lauren Grousd, the Real Life. Real Talk. Manager of Portland, Maine, I decided to add a discussion exercise wherein mothers and daughters would separate into two groups to share what they feel makes it easier to talk with their mother/daughter about sex and sexuality and what makes it harder. The groups then came back together and reported back.
Over the last two workshops I have heard mothers report:
What makes it hard:
Embarrassment - Wanting them to stay young - They know everything - They won't talk or listen - Finding time/opportunity.
What makes it easy:
Same gender - Sharing personal stories - Using reality checks (if you do this, then...) - Starting early - Having lots of conversations, not just one.
The Girls reported:
What makes it hard:
Being in a confined space (like a car) - Mom can be judgmental - Not using words like "special" - Mom not sharing too much - Not making it a big deal.
What makes it easy:
Talking in small quantities - Making it casual and open - Having a friend there - Keeping it real - Talking to someone else's mom.
Some of the information was hard for the mothers to hear but the format made it possible for both groups to truly listen to one another and gain some insight into their perspective. In workshop packets I also now include a copy of the Sex Ed for Parents booklet, and offer news of upcoming Real Life. Real Talk. events. Recently a woman attended a Real Life. Real Talk. Sex Ed for Parents workshop just after completing our Mother/Daughter course. During the discussion following the video, she shared the feedback the girls had given during this exercise as an example of what teens are really thinking about these topics. Now that's nice synergy!
Clara Porter, Program Director, Prevention. Action. Change.