Deciding to have sex is a very personal choice — some people are ready at a younger age than others. Choosing to have sex is a big decision and there is a lot to consider — for every person, at any age. But teens face special pressures at a time in their lives when their bodies are changing and they begin to have more sexual thoughts and feelings. This can be overwhelming because sexy images and messages are everywhere — on the Internet and TV, in movies, music, and books, too. When it comes to sex, teens are trying to sort through the way they feel while they make sense of all they see and hear.

Most teens also want to fit in with their peers. And it may appear as though everyone is having sex. But the truth is that only about half of all teenagers have had sexual intercourse. Even fewer do have sex on a continual basis — they have sex once or twice and then remain abstinent for awhile, because they recognize that they were not ready.

It is important for teens to consider the reasons why they want to have sex — to really think about it before they find themselves in a sexual situation. As parents we can help our kids with this. We can begin by initiating discussions with our children about how sex may or may not fit into their personal values, beliefs, and goals for the future.

Teens also need to know that having sex can be wonderful, but it may also make people feel vulnerable. There are physical risks too, including sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancy — so teens need to know how to protect themselves with condoms and other methods of birth control. Protecting oneself also means being ready to talk openly with a partner about what you do and don't want to do.

So, some teens may be ready to have sex while others may not be. But sex is one part of a whole relationship and it is not the only way to feel close to another person. Even though it may seem like sex is something that just happens, it is best for teens to be prepared by giving a lot of thought to how this decision may affect their lives and relationships.

There is no magic number that makes it okay for a teen to have sex. It is completely dependent upon the individual circumstances. What is most important is that the teen has been provided with thorough information about healthy sexuality. This would include information about sexually transmitted infections, birth control, and condoms. If you feel your teen hasn't had access to that type of information, there are many resources located in our More Information section under Research. There are also many other online resources including www.plannedparenthood.org, www.teenwire.com, and www.sxetc.org. Another important piece in the decision to have sex is making sure there is open and honest communication with the person they plan to have sex with. And above all, the teen should feel safe in his or her relationship, not pressured into having sex if he or she doesn't want to and trust that his or her partner will have their best interests in mind.