It is wonderful that you want to speak with your son about masturbation, because you can reassure him that it is normal — and children really want to be assured that they are normal.

Young children explore their bodies and often learn that touching their sex organs is pleasurable. In fact, it is very common for children to masturbate. But it is important for parents to tell their children that touching their genitals is only appropriate in private. It is also crucial for parents to understand that scolding their children for masturbating can lead to feelings of shame or guilt about their bodies and sexuality.

Many teens also masturbate, which is an important way they can learn more about their bodies. With all of the physical and hormonal changes that take place during adolescence, masturbation is typically accompanied by sexual thoughts and feelings. This can be a confusing time for kids, especially because they may be getting negative or erroneous information from their peers or through messages in the media. For centuries, masturbation has been associated with myths and stigma. Having a frank discussion with your son is a great way to provide truthful information about masturbation to help him understand that it is a healthy and normal way to express one's sexuality.

Since your son is twelve, he may also be experiencing 'wet dreams' — which occur when boys and young men ejaculate while they sleep. Waking up with wet pajamas or bed sheets can be disconcerting to boys who do not understand what is happening — that they are having erotic dreams and ejaculating. Your conversation about masturbation is also an excellent opportunity to discuss the physical changes that take place during puberty. Again, your son is likely to be relieved to know that the things he is experiencing are normal!

It may feel a little uncomfortable to bring up the topic but you can begin by telling him just that! You might start by saying, 'I would like to speak with you about something important, but I feel a little awkward. I want to talk about masturbation, and I hope you don't feel embarrassed …' Having an open conversation now about masturbation will open the door for further conversations about sex in the future. Your son will likely feel comfortable and confident that he can bring his questions and concerns to you.

Masturbation is a totally normal part of being human and being a teen, it is great that you are interested in talking to him about it. The age in which kids begin to masturbate depends on various factors, some might include hormones, peer influences, health, and the general cultural attitude toward masturbation. According to the Kinsey Institute, 53 percent of men and 25 percent of women masturbated for the first time by ages 11 to 13. Although this age bracket does not fit all kids it is still important to begin talking to your child about masturbation in order to frame it as a healthy practice and safe method for experiencing pleasure without a partner.

To begin talking to your son about masturbation you may want to introduce the idea as something that is widely done and why that is. Masturbation is not something to be embarrassed about. Discuss the benefits of the act and also how it is performed. They must also know that you will provide privacy to them in the future if they do choose to masturbate. You may also want to talk about masturbation myths — many of which distort masturbation as something that is not normal or healthy.

In some cases parents find books that they give to their kids to make the process a little less awkward although I think in many cases its just better to talk to them out right. Human sexuality shouldn't be suppressed; by openly talking about a subject such as masturbation while your child is young you may avoid the awkwardness of sex and provide a more realistic and comprehensive sexual education.