It's great that you have initiated a conversation with your daughter about sex — this is a crucial first step that many parents find difficult to take.

The best way to find out what is going on in your daughter's life is to ask her — which is exactly what you did! When children feel comfortable and free to talk openly, they will likely continue to come to us for help as they make decisions in the future. It sounds as though you are very supportive and want to help your daughter make good decisions for herself.

Good communication with teens generally happens through an ongoing dialog instead of one major conversation. Since you've already begun this conversation, you may want to begin the next discussion by referring to the first one. For instance, you might say, 'Recently, I asked you whether you have ever had sex. I appreciate that you were comfortable enough to answer me. Now I would like to continue that conversation and talk about protecting yourself from the possible risks of sexual activity …'

A great way to have a two-way discussion is to ask her what she knows about reducing the risks of unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted infection. It may be useful to have information or resources available to help answer questions — you can find information online, at the bookstore, or in the public library. Ask her what she knows about various birth control methods — from hormonal methods, such as birth control pills, to barrier methods, including condoms. If she is unsure about some information, you can use this as an opportunity to look up the answers together either online or at a library. In addition, you could talk about the emotional risks that arise when people have sex. Tell her that while sex can be wonderful, it also makes many people feel vulnerable. Helping her begin to think about the reasons why she may want to have sex — or delay sex — and the possible consequences, can assist your daughter in protecting herself eventually.

Remember that the best way to talk about sex with your daughter is to have many on-going discussions. She will have different concerns at various times in her life. You have begun to set a great foundation so that your daughter will likely want to bring her questions to you in the future.

There is no way to tell whether or not your daughter is sexually active. But whether or not she is, you need to give her the proper education on protecting herself and using some kind of birth control. Also, you need to inform her about all the things that can happen to her if she doesn't use protection. Tell her that she needs to know these things so that she can stay healthy. It's also important to provide that information in such a way that makes her feel comfortable talking to you about these issues.