You are absolutely right — the sooner you begin talking with your son about sex the better he will be equipped to make the best, most responsible choices for himself. Your son's diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS), falls under the larger umbrella of Autism Spectrum Disorders, each of which has varying symptoms and different degrees of severity. In general, children diagnosed with PDD-NOS tend to struggle somewhat with social interactions and/or communication, and they may have particular sensitivities or need for specific routines.

Nevertheless, all children need accurate, comprehensive information about sex and sexuality and parents are always the best source. Unfortunately peers and the media often give less-than-accurate or confusing messages about sex. So, beginning to talk about sex with your son now is very important, because you will be giving him essential information for his health and well-being. You will also be doing so in a manner he will understand and absorb. As you mentioned, your son sees life in "black or white" terms. This rigidity is a hallmark of people with PDD-NOS. Of course this will present some difficulty in discussing sex with him, but it may also help you figure out the most effective ways to do so. For instance, some children with PDD-NOS learn better through visual stimulation and cues. And it's important to give your son concrete examples while explaining or describing any information. Therefore, you may want to use visual aids, including diagrams from books, flash cards, and/or DVD videos. Another consideration is that your son may require extra reinforcement of new ideas until he fully understands them. You might turn "lessons" about physiology into fun games using flashcards. When he gets the name of a body part correctly, you can positively reinforce his grasp of the new information with a hug, a treat, or an activity he enjoys.

To begin, as is the case when talking about sex with all children, it's ideal to have many, on-going discussions — it's impossible to cover everything in one talk! Also, some topics are more age-appropriate than others. For example, it's important for young children to first understand their own body parts and how they work, then learn about the bodies of the other gender. From there, children can learn about intercourse and how pregnancy happens. Beginning with a conversation about anatomy may be a great way to start talking about sex with your son. This will also present an excellent opportunity to broach the topic of puberty — so that you can also discuss the hormonal, physical, and emotional changes he will experience soon. It's important for all children to know what to expect as they enter adolescence so that they realize that what's happening is normal. Children with PDD-NOS may have an even stronger need to be ready for these changes they will face.

Also keep in mind that some children who are diagnosed along the autism spectrum may have difficulty understanding other peoples' feelings, which can manifest as "impaired" social interaction. So, it's equally important that your son begin to understand the social and emotional aspects of sexual relations. He must understand that only consensual touching is appropriate, and learn that he has the right to say "no" to unwanted touching. Your son also needs to know that he must respect other people's wishes regarding their bodies, too. To start talking with your son, you can use a "teachable moment" — a real-life situation, or one on T.V., from which you can start a related conversation. For example, if you're watching a television show together and one of the characters just had a baby, you can use that storyline as a launching pad to have a conversation with him about pregnancy and how it happens. You may also want to check out some print resources in preparation for your first discussion. The manual, "Sex Education for Parents of Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder," may be helpful. Also, talk with your son's pediatrician & Individualized Education Plan (IEP) instructors at his school for their perspectives and suggestions on the most effective ways to talk with him about sex.

I think the expert's response is right on target — I like the idea of using visual aids for someone who needs to see things concretely. However, be sure that the visual aids don't become a "crutch" — very often parents rely heavily on visual aids or books to talk about sex with their kids because they're really uncomfortable about talking about it. Kids sense this and what ends up happening is that the kid just feels bad for making the parent so uncomfortable and then avoids asking questions in the future. Just be sure to not rely solely on the visual aids — might be a great starting off point — but be sure to include sexual situations that may come up on TV, movies, or even the lyrics to songs. Kids are constantly singing the lyrics to songs that are super sexual without knowing what those lyrics actually mean. And always let your intention for communicating to your son about sex be a place of love instead of fear. Talks that stem from love for your kid instead of fear of what your kid may be at risk for are the best talks.