It’s terrific that your eight-year-old son has asked 'where babies come from' because it is perfectly normal for a child his age to be curious!  The fact that he initiated this discussion makes it a bit easier for you and your husband to give your son this important information.

The book you have is a great beginning to discuss the physical aspects of sex and sexuality.  For example, by the time they are eight-years-old, children should know the proper terminology for body parts and how they work in relation to reproduction.  Eventually you can also begin to introduce the topics of puberty and adolescence, so that your son will be prepared for the growth and changes he will experience in the future.

In addition to providing information about the physical side to sex, it’s crucial for parents to tackle the emotional components of sex.  Using the book you have is an excellent way to transition into a broader conversation with your son about sex, which may help you address how your son was conceived and what that means for him.  He’ll probably want to know that his biological mother is another woman. When he understands the basics of human reproduction, he will be able to understand that being a parent is sometimes different from being a biological parent.

One of the first conversations with your son can be about the differences between women’s and men’s bodies.  Include a discussion about female eggs and male sperm, so that you can describe how babies are conceived — through vaginal intercourse.  Once your son begins to understand these concepts, talk about some of the other, non-reproduction reasons why people have sex.

Tell your son that many people have sex because it’s one of the ways to make a baby.  Also talk about how many people also have sex because it’s pleasurable and one way to be intimate with someone they care about.  You might say to your son:  'When two people have special feelings for each other, they may have sex as a way to express those feelings.'  You can also tell him that sometimes people plan to have a baby and sometimes they don’t.  But assure him that once he was conceived, his mother and father were excited because they knew he would be raised in a good, happy home.

It’s not entirely clear from your question, but it appears that your son is your husband’s biological child with another woman.  It is clear that you are raising him with your husband — a perfect illustration of a 'non-traditional' family, one that isn’t comprised of a wife and husband who are raising their biological children together.  Using your own family as an example, explain to your son that regardless of how a child is conceived, the only thing that matters is that he or she is raised by a caring family.  Being a good parent means helping a child feel wanted and loved.

The bottom line is that all children want to feel normal, so be sure to help your son understand that he’s just like so many other children.  You can point out to him all the ways that families come together — how some children are adopted, or conceived through medical intervention.  You can also talk about different types of families, such as blended families (like your own), and those led by single parents and gay couples.  Assure your son that you love him, and that he and your family are perfectly normal!

This situation, although may seem tough, all depends on how you work it out.  These days, children are exposed to more information about different family constellations than they were in previous generations.  The media and everything they encounter in their every day lives, makes them hear things that previous generations were never exposed to.  For starters, you don't necessarily have to make the conversation specific to his situation.  He isn't asking for his personal story about how he was born.  Something as simple as saying 'Well, when a man and a woman have sex, there are many reasons, sometimes its because they love each other, but sometimes its just because it feels good. But when two people have sex, no matter the reason, they sometimes make babies.'

Expert on Teen Response

The teen is correct that today’s media are making more people aware of different family structures and the many different ways that children are brought into their families.  But the teen underestimates how important it is for children to know all about their origins.  Parents should give children information about their origins as soon as they are able to understand the information.  Adopted children, children of surrogates, and children that result from alternative insemination, for example, all need to know how they came to their families.  That information will play an important role their health and well-being as they mature and during their adult lives.