Your son and his girlfriend are very lucky because it sounds like you support their decision to raise their child. Not all parents are as accepting of their teenager’s choice to become a parent. It also sounds like you would like to help your son prepare for fatherhood. This is terrific because he and his girlfriend will face a number of challenges as they begin their lives as parents.
Your son and his girlfriend will benefit from your good advice. Their lives are about to change forever. They will be responsible for their child’ well-being, which is a job that lasts 24 hours a day, seven days a week — at least for the first 18 years of the their child’s life! Your son and his girlfriend will not be able to hang out with their friends like before — taking care of their baby will be their first priority. Their relationship will also change. Raising a child can be stressful and strain a relationship. Even though they don’t have to get married, they will be parenting their child together for a long time. So they will need to think about what they want for their relationship with each other and what they will each be doing to take care of their child. You may be able to help your son think through these alternatives and challenges and offer what ever help you can. As an experienced mom yourself, you can also let them know that you will be available for helping them with whatever advice they need about child care.
You may also be able to help him think about what he wants to do about his education. Perhaps one of the biggest obstacles teen parents face is finishing high school. There are many considerations to make. The cost of having and raising a baby can make it very difficult for young parents to continue school. Your son will be a high school senior when the baby is born, so it’s really important for him to graduate, or to enroll in an equivalency program to obtain a GED certificate. Otherwise it will be very difficult to find a good job, which he will eventual need to support his child.
Once your son completes high school he will need to decide whether he wants to attend college or pursue other career options. He may be able to finish school while working a part-time job at night and on the weekends, too, because all fathers are legally responsible for providing child support. He should begin to plan how he will help support his child now. It’s also in everyone’s best interests for his girlfriend to finish school. Many communities have programs designed to help teen moms get their high school diplomas.
But working and going to school are very demanding and child care can be very expensive. Most communities offer lower-cost child care services, many of which are funded through government programs. Begin by contacting Child Care Aware, a national child care organization, to find out more about program options — by phone: 1-800-424-2246, or online: http://www.childcareaware.org/.
The due date is several months away, so it’s important to that the future parents begin planning today. Your son’s girlfriend should find a health care provider so that she can get the prenatal care she needs to have a healthy pregnancy. You may be able to advise her about this.
The best option for everyone is for you and your son to work together with his girlfriend and her family—to ensure that your grandchild will have everything that he or she needs. Furthermore, you can lend support to your son and his girlfriend so that they can have successful and fulfilling futures as well. Although the ultimate responsibility for raising this child rests with your son and his girlfriend, they will certainly benefit from the help you are willing to give them. Raising a baby is a lot of hard work, as you know, but teen parents can do it successfully!
What kind of advice do I give my 18 year old son? His girlfriend is 15 and pregnant and will be giving birth early in the spring. He is finishing 11th grade and she is in 9th grade.
