It’s terrific that your son has come to you with his question because as his parent you can give him the most accurate information there is about sex and sexuality-related issues — which is exactly what you’ll be discussing when you talk with him about Viagra.

His question about this medication prescribed for erectile dysfunction is a great starting point for having broader conversations with your son about sex. It’s the perfect example of a “teachable moment” — using a real-life situation, such as something that happened to a family member or a storyline on a T.V. show, to discuss a particular topic. Discussing Viagra will “open the door” and let your son know that he can come to you in the future to discuss his concerns and ask you questions.

It’s understandable that you were “changing the subject” when he asked you about Viagra commercials on T.V. Many parents feel the same way — it’s difficult for them to talk with their children about topics that are sexual in nature, so you’re not alone! There are a lot of reasons for this. Some of us had parents that didn’t discuss sex with us. And for others, it’s hard to reckon with the fact that our children are growing up and curious about sex. But it’s never too late to start talking with our children about sex.

Before you have a conversation with your 10-year-old about Viagra, it’s probably best to start from a place that’s more applicable to his life. You can begin by talking about puberty — the changes his body will go through over the next several years. Puberty can be a difficult time for pre-teens and teenagers, because they go through a number of hormonal, physical, and emotional changes as their bodies grow into adulthood. Children want to know that what they’re experiencing is normal, so they can feel normal. One of the best ways to prepare our children for these changes is to let them know what will happen before it happens, that it will happen at different time for different people, and that it’s normal to be different.

Before you actually begin this talk, acknowledge that you had previously changed the subject when your son first asked about Viagra. But let him know that you are ready to talk now. You might say something such as: “I wasn’t really prepared to talk about Viagra when you asked me. My parents never talked with me about these things. But I want you to come to me about sexuality-related issues, and I’m ready to discuss it now. Let’s start by talking about puberty — growing into adulthood — so you can better understand what Viagra is.”

In the future, remember that it’s best to address your child’s questions about sexuality as close as possible to moment he asks — to make sure he doesn’t think you’re avoiding the question. And you’ll send the message that you are open to having these talks and that sexuality isn’t a “dirty” or bad topic in your home.

Some boys your son’s age may already begin to experience the physical changes associated with puberty. Explain that eventually most boys will grow hair under their arms, on their faces, around their penis and testicles, and on other body parts. Boys’ penises also grow and their testicles hang lower. They’re voices may also “crack” or sound squeaky while their voices deepen.

Then you can talk with your son about what an erection is — when a man become sexually excited his penis fills with blood and it grows longer and thicker (gets “hard”). This allows him to have sexual intercourse. I’f you’ve already talked with your son about human reproduction and sexual intercourse, you will be able to explain what Viagra is: it’s a medication that some older men use to help them keep an erection so they can have sexual intercourse.

This discussion also provides a good opportunity to discuss morning erections and “wet dreams” — ejaculation while sleeping — which many young man experience during puberty. This can be troubling to some boys if they don’t know what’s happening. And eventually you can talk with your son about what it means to have a sexual relationship.

This is a lot of information to convey! But try not to worry because you don’t have to talk about all of it in one conversation. In fact, that might be impossible. Remember, learning about sex and sexuality is a life-long process. You and your son are just beginning to have these conversations. It takes a couple of talks to lay the foundation. And soon your son will likely feel comfortable and confident that he can come to you and discuss what’s on his mind.

I think the key is to keep it simple. If he already knows about the changes of puberty, then it will be easy to relate the discussion to what he already knows. I think you can be honest and stay within your comfort zone without going into a lot of scientific detail. But it is very important to answer his questions because, if you don’t, he may go to someone else and not get the right information.